The loss of a loved one is devastating.
What is even worse is when you start experiencing disturbing dreams about them.
Are these dreams a sign that they are distressed? Are they reaching out from the afterlife because they are scared or fearful?
Or are they trying to tell you that you are responsible for their death?
How can you stop them?
First, let me share with you my own personal experience. I am not a dream expert, but I have suffered through these disturbing dreams after a loss.
I just lost one of my animal companions over the weekend after a long history of diabetic issues. Birdy was a rescued kitten, missing rear leg when I found him at just five weeks of age.
He was painfully shy as a youngster, but he grew into a magnificent and confident boy kitty as an adult. We lost him when he went into a diabetic coma and didn't make it. My husband and I were right by his side.
Despite being on the phone with the vet and doing everything we possibly could, Birdy passed away at the age of nine. It was horrifying to see him go through that. The shock of what was happening was too much, so I pushed it down and tried my best not to think about it.
Within an hour of his passing, he connected with me and told me how loved he felt. He was just fine and sent me warm and loving energy.
I thought I was okay and moving forward. Then about two days later the disturbing dreams began. I kept seeing his face over and over when he was dying. It was so disturbing.
Again, I pushed those thoughts down and tried to distract myself with other more positive thoughts.
For three more nights, the dreams filtered into my sleep. Some were more upsetting than others but all of them bothered me and I felt sick when I woke up.
I decided to connect with Birdy again and once more found him in perfect balance, a beautiful spirit energy full of light. Birdy assured me he was doing everything he wanted and was perfectly happy; it was his journey. I was just part of that journey. He said I gave him everything I could and he never felt more loved than at that moment when he passed.
If I did not have the ability to communicate with him, I'd be a total wreck.
Thinking the worst-case scenario was that he desperately tried to tell me he was not okay.
I realized that it was all about my decision to push those thoughts down and not deal with them. I didn't want to face the fact that I felt guilty about what had happened to him. In my mind, I was his sole caregiver, and I had failed him. There was something that I did to cause him to go into that coma. I must have messed up the insulin injections or something else to cause him to decline rapidly.
In reality, the exact opposite was true. I had done everything right. Even though I misunderstood the dosage, it would not have been enough to kill him. There was something else going on with him. Something that was beyond my control. It was not up to me. It was not my error. It was his journey, his body, his experience. I just did the best I could with the information I had. Everything happened the way it was supposed to. He wasn't supposed to survive that day.
As devastating as it was to hear that, I accepted it.
Luckily, I didn't beat myself up for decades as I had done in the past with others, I felt responsible for. Birdy set me straight. It was his journey. I am just a part of it. I don't control the outcome. I can only do my best. That is the bottom line.
So, going back to the dreams. Once I acknowledged that I was not responsible, even though it felt like it, once I said out loud that this was his journey and everything that happened was meant to happen, the dreams subsided.
When I pushed the emotions down, when I refused to deal with them, they had to bubble up to the surface. I was doing my best to distract myself from facing those feelings, and ultimately, they surfaced through my subconscious and into my dreams.
If this has happened to you then please understand that bad dreams are not distress calls from your loved ones. They are not trying to tell you that you messed up or that you are the reason they died. They are perfect in the afterlife and even if things didn't go the way you wanted, it went the way it was supposed to. You are just part of their journey and not in control of the outcome.
I still blame my actions; could I or should I have done something different? But I instantly hear Birdy telling me to let that go. I did exactly what I needed to do. I loved him, cared for him and did my best.
I was finally ready to listen to Birdy's words.
I share these messages with you so you can hear them too. Your angel is just fine and you did everything you could. Sometimes things are beyond our control, no matter how hard we try.
After all, we are spiritual beings having a physical experience.
From the most painful experiences come the greatest amount of spiritual growth.
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