It is not uncommon to blame ourselves for our pet’s death even if they died from natural causes. Grief brings about all kinds of painful thoughts of what we could have done or should have done to prevent their death. Our thoughts surface immediately and point the blame directly at us.
Our ego wants to control that which we have no control over especially when accidents happen. We punish ourselves relentlessly and run the fateful scenario through our minds for days, weeks, or longer. Each time the pain goes deeper like a dagger plunging into your heart.
You may experience physical symptoms, insomnia, and depression.
It is a challenging and difficult time that none of us want to endure.
To understand how to release ego we have to have a clear understanding of what ego is. There are many definitions in the psychological arena and in the spiritual sense but here is an example:
Your ego is often defined as whatever comes to your mind when you think of yourself
The psychological definition includes your ideas about yourself, your beliefs, ideologies, social affiliations, desires, fears, and much more.
The spiritual definition includes a veil of thought that separates you from who you really are.
You are more than your body, more than your beliefs, more than your image.
You are a mighty and powerful spiritual being capable of anything you set your intention on accomplishing.
We instinctively search for answers or judge our actions when a pet dies. We are their caretakers and it is our job to make sure they are healthy and safe at all times. When something tragic happens we make ourselves the focus of everything that we feel went wrong. We start the cycle of guilt and we regret everything we did or didn’t do on the day of the incident. Our anger, pain, or blame can also be directed at the veterinarian, our loved ones, or even the pet that died.
To determine if your ego is in control ask yourself these questions:
If the answer is no then you are not responsible for their death.
Even if you knew in the back of your mind that you shouldn’t have done what you did that is ego trying to stay in the driver’s seat of your thoughts.
You are a victim of unfortunate circumstances brought about by an unplanned series of events.
You spend your entire life caring for your pet. You have fed, bathed, clipped, medicated, hugged, loved, and snuggled with that pet and done everything in your power to give them a wonderful and loving home.
Ego is driving your guilt so it can stay in control of your life. When you release your ego, you release all the guilt associated with events that are unintentional.
You never intended to harm your pet nor did you wake up that day and decide to unlatch the gate which they escaped from.
You didn’t place them in front of the vehicle that hit them, nor did you place the poison/toxin in their mouth to ingest.
The more appropriate expression of your feelings may sound like this:
When you place the blame on yourself you place yourself in a state of eternal punishment and nothing will convince you that you are not guilty.
This endless circle of blame envelopes every thought and paralyzes your happiness.
You continually feel bad about the incident and the circle of devastation continues.
You can start by saying these three simple words:
“I forgive myself.”
Feeling guilty does not serve you or your departed pet.
Positive affirmations allow you to shift your perspective and begin the journey into healing.
Say them often and say them out loud.
Be patient. It takes time to work through grief.
Post little notes around your home or in your car.
If you aren’t ready to say these words out loud, ‘I am not guilty for the death of my pet,’ then it may be time to seek professional help from a certified grief counselor.
Be gentle with yourself.
If an accident happened you are a victim of unfortunate circumstances
You suffered a loss
You deserve love
After conducting thousands of afterlife sessions with departed pets not one time has a pet told me that their human caretaker was responsible for their death. Nor have they said their life was ended too soon. The majority of pets say they were ready to go sooner than later as we tend to keep them here longer for our own sake.
Our self-punishment is completely unnecessary and only fuels our ego to continue to torture our soul.
You are a wonderful, caring, loving pet parent and your pet loves you and knows you would never harm them.
Start your journey into healing now…Say these words, “I forgive myself…and set myself free.”
I read every post and appreciate the time you take to share your experience with me.
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With love and light,